Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
