spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
