i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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