after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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