Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
