Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
be right there i have to get my cape
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
