I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Houston, we have a blender
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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