Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
