i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
