My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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