with your own penis?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
