turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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