He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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