I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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