should my penis look like a turkey
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
