He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
