some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize