Christians are straight up FREAKS
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
