you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
