So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
