i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My ass is underappreciated
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize