Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
