You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
