I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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