I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
