Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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