Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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