Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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