So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
