Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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