Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
