Small penises have feelings too.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
