is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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