I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
