I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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