can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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