Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
