I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
