Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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