I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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