I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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