everyone is single if you try hard enough
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
