it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
