i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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