Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
