Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
