rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
