He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
