So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
