i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
