I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
send nudes
from the living room?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
