i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
