I am puke
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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