You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
