420 ftw
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
