you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize