Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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