it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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