i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
