So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Every concussion has its silver lining
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
