I think im going to throw up on grandma
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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