I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
