Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
