Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Farmville is her only friend.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
