So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize