Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Terrible idea I love it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
