break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
