evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just cut my nipple shaving
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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