We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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