just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
