shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
