so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
