I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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