Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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