As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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